things that werent said..

life..that is probably the hardest word to define..the dictionary meaning is not enough for satisfaction..frankly..most people pass their whole life and still cant find any precise answer to this question..maybe because there isnt any answer..life is different to everybody..the definition of life depends on the perspective of a person..to the optimist its a path of learning..to the pessimist its a painful sojourn..to the escapist its a reason to die..

i have never been an escapist..atleast i dont think so..since the time i gained consciousness of the world and the people around me..i have had few reasons to complain..a wonderful family..and good people to live with..but i wouldnt deny being a pessimist at times..but mostly i am an optimist..the times that i did go into the pessimist tendency was when i went through huge changes in my life..

y am i writing all this..?that is somethin im sure most people would be wondering..because today is one such day..a change has happened..a very significant one in my life..someone dear has just left home..

we have never really been the typical type of siblings..we never spoke to each other about serious,relevant and deep issues apart from studies..we have had our share of fights..nasty ones too..but in the past few years that had sucumbed..and though i never told you about my problems,i sumhow have the feeling you always figured out..i dont know how!!we never really told each other things like-"im there",but it was always evident..we never really said that we are fond of each other.but that is alright to me..because i hav always believed that words limit emotions..

the past few days..i cannot forget how we made "suji" at 12 in the night..i cannot forget how u played the guitar and asked me to sing(terribly out of scale)..i cannot forget how u grinned at the thought of me fainting aftr my blood test..i cannot forget how after just looking at me u said-"arrey!!tum to phool gayi ho"..i cannot forget how we got hungry at the same time always..and i know i couldnt have said all this to you..and maybe if you think the same u would hav never said it to me..but again..words limit emotions..

i had become so used to that "rabbit teeth smile" of yours..it feels weird when u arnt around..even if you hardly said anything..this post is specially dedicated to u bhai..

so..wherever u are..know this..my best wishes are with you..all the best for ur goa venture..moms n dads blessings are with you..

take care..